Why is it that avoiding emotion and taking the human element out of your interactions with women when you first meet them seems to attract them so much?
Yes, I’m going in the complete opposite direction of what most seduction experts will tell you about how to get women interested in you. You’ll often hear things like smile when you approach the girl, or make sure you have high energy so that you spike her “buying temperature”—basically this translates into always needing coffee or energy drinks and I got sucked into this trap when I was a novice.
Don’t get sucked into the trap of conveying emotions to a girl before you’ve slept with her. Here’s everything you need to know about approaching women in a way that lets you screen their REAL interest levels (not their fake ones that you generate by acting cute and smiling and all that nonsense). And always when you screen women, you end up saving a lot of time in your pursuit of them. Let’s take a look at what I mean…
I) Keep a poker face and don’t smile when you approach.
You want to have a seductive face (a seductive facial expression is very akin to a poker face) when you first approach a woman, so that she immediately categorizes you into the “sex category.” Women have different categories in their heads ranging from “boyfriend category” to “friends” to “fuck-buddies” into which they put men. And we also know that people form their opinion of who you are and what your personality is like within the first few minutes of meeting you. So, you want to take this opportunity to polarize the situation and get rid of the time-wasting women. The newbies will probably read my advice to not smile and run off saying that it’s bad advice, whereas the winners will try it and, although they will screen out a lot of women (who weren’t ever going to show interest in them), they will find the ones who are DTF.
I’m not saying to force the poker face. If you’re feeling happy internally, it’s fine to smile to be congruent with your internal emotions, but you’d better get your poker face within the first few minutes after approaching to test her real interest level instead of the smokescreen she shows every other guy who walks up and tries to chat her up.
Another reason to avoid smiling is that you don’t want to fake your emotions, or it comes off weird. If you think to yourself “I really need to smile when I approach this group of girls,” they’re going to think you’re weird before you even approach. Other people around us can sense what we’re feeling internally. If you truly don’t give a shit about what happens when you approach that group of girls, they will sense it before you even approach and will start jumping up and down and smiling when you approach, even if you didn’t smile.
Instead of smiling, keep a blank neutral expression on your face (poker face). How do I know that this works? Well first of all I’ve tested almost every way of doing things and I’ve found that faking your emotions is the dumbest thing you can do. Also, it is backed by research…
In this study done by OkCupid, we see the following graph:
As we can see, men who tried to do a flirty face met significantly fewer girls than other men. And men who were smiling met much fewer girls than men who weren’t smiling.
It’s not just true in the world of online dating. It’s also true in real life. Let’s say you’re feeling a bit bored internally and when you approach a girl you also display a bored demeanor. What’s going to happen? She’s probably going to start thinking to herself “Why does this guy look bored? Am I really that boring? And he doesn’t seem nervous or anything… why is my make-up having no effect on him? Maybe I should’ve worn high heels tonight? I’m not tall enough?” Which brings me to my next point. You’re already one step ahead of her in the game when you genuinely stop concerning yourself with your external surroundings…
II) Sociopaths aren’t worried about what she thinks of them
People inherently are always worried about what others are going to think of them. This is supported by the imaginary audience psychology theory. According to Wikipedia, it “refers to an egocentric state where an individual imagines and believes that multitudes of people are enthusiastically listening to or watching him or her.”
Logically, you have to think to yourself… If every other person in the world is constantly inside his or her head thinking about what others are thinking of him, this is the holy grail. If you can distance yourself from the opinions of others, you will be one step ahead of everyone else, because when you see a crowd of onlookers when you approach a girl, you know that they’re not really thinking that “oh that guys acting goofy.” Sure, they may think that for a second, but after that second passes, you know what will happen?? They’re going to go right back to thinking about themselves: “Haha that guy sucks, I bet that girl would give me her number because I’m so much better looking.”
If you really want to see sociopaths in action, the best thing you can do is to start living in New York City. Bonus points if you move to Manhattan, since that’s where the real nutjobs are. You’ll see people yelling at each other on the streets, casually telling strangers to fuck off and then both of those people have a quick laugh and move on about their day.
III) Focus on getting rejected, not on your energy or state
You might be wondering: How do successful guys get to the point where they’re not worried about what girls think of them?
Let me tell you something that no seduction guru or pick-up artist will tell you. It’s such an unsexy truth that you’ll probably tuck your tail between your legs after you read this blog post and run off to safer sites that promise to teach you how to get good with girls “100% rejection free.”
TRUTH: Rejection is what drives results.
Rejection isn’t a part of your strategy. Rejection isn’t something you do at one part of the night. Your whole strategy is rejection. Your goal when you leave your house is not to get 7 numbers; your goal is to “get rejected.”
The guys who are the most successful with women on a night out (aka me and a few of my natural buddies—many of whom get off on rejection and they’d rather troll girls than actually have sex with them) set aside a one-hour time frame of approaching every girl in sight on the streets outside of clubs and bars and getting rejected. The harsher the rejection, the funnier it is and consequently the less of a fuck they give throughout the rest of the night.
While most guys are in the bar getting drunk talking to their buddies, I’ve already gotten rejected, and am in god mode. And if my wing is with me, he’s probably gotten his rejections taken care of as well.
IV) Focus on physical rejection right from the beginning
It’s not just enough to get rejected… you want the girl to reject you because you tried to advance physically with her way too quickly. In the past, I used to put out my hand for a handshake, spin her around, put her arm around my shoulder (so that she’s close and face to face) and then go for a makeout, all without saying a word.
I got rejected, but I also gained massive confidence in escalating physically. Eventually, I didn’t even have to think about it. It was natural to touch a girl in sexual ways and they loved it, because I wasn’t weirding them out like all these other guys who plan out their moves
LOL @ guys who do this: “Maybe I should wait until the end of the date and put my arm around her waist at a 45 degree angle”
V) Do things that show you are reckless
The final and most important word of advice is to focus on being reckless when you’re dealing with women. Sociopaths do crazy stuff like smack a girl’s ass when they just met her 2 seconds ago. They’re not worried that she might slap them or throw a drink in their face.
My personal way of engaging in recklessness was to use some funny looking party sunglasses as a prop when I was out at night. I used to save time and screen for girls who liked me by gesturing towards girls as if to put the glasses on their face. Some girls would avoid it, and that let me know they’re not down for fun. But some girls would take the glasses from my hand, put them on, and start giving me hugs, and with those girls, I took them home straight away. No resistance, no bullshit. Of course, this was only possible because I had taken the time to get rejected by countless girls and groups throughout the first few hours of the night.
And here’s some further reading if you want to learn why acting like a sociopath works in trying to get laid: The Dark Triad Traits.
What are the dark triad traits?
Taken directly from Wikipedia:
Studies have suggested that on average, those who exhibit the dark triad of personality traits have an accelerated mating strategy, reporting more sex partners, more favorable attitudes towards casual sex, lowered standards in their short-term mates, a tendency to steal or poach mates from others, more risk-taking in the form of substance abuse, a tendency to prefer immediate but smaller amounts of money over delayed but larger amounts of money, limited self-control and greater incidence of ADHD symptoms and a pragmatic and game-playing love style. These traits have been identified as part of a fast life strategy that appears to be enacted by an exploitative, opportunistic, and protean approach to life in general and at work.
Furthermore, there have been countless scientific studies done on the dark triad personality and how it pertains to attracting women.
Let me be perfectly blunt: approaching life with the dark triad traits is not a good thing! However, you could shift your mental state specifically when you interact with women, similar to how an actor changes his mentality when trying to act a certain role. This would allow you to retain a sane personality, and yet be able to give the illusion of a man with dark triad personality traits.
If you do the 5 things I mentioned in this article, you will come across as authentic and not as some fake dude who read some tips online about smiling when approaching girls. Don’t be weird. Focus on rejection; if you get called a creep, who cares? It’s just some drunk girl who will forget about you the next day anyways. You really want to walk out of your door on a Friday night with a list of goals that starts out with “#1: Get rejected.” Act like a reckless maniac out there in the streets, bars, and clubs because… Why the fuck not? Lol (and also because it saves you time and finds the girls who have real, genuine interest in you).
Now I want your output… Can you think of any examples of guys from the seduction industry who seem like complete psychos and yet they get laid like crazy? Comment below!
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